DARVO
What DARVO stands for, how psychologist Jennifer Freyd described it, what the research shows about its effects and how to keep your footing when it happens.
Key takeaways
- DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, introduced by psychologist Jennifer Freyd in a 1997 paper on betrayal trauma theory.
- In a 2017 study by Harsey, Zurbriggen and Freyd, people who met more DARVO when confronting someone reported more self-blame.
- Experiments by Harsey and Freyd found DARVO can make observers see a victim as less believable, and that learning about DARVO may reduce this effect.
- Freyd cautions that DARVO is not proof of wrongdoing; innocent people sometimes respond defensively too.
- Where DARVO appears alongside control or fear, safety planning with a domestic violence advocate comes before any joint conversation.
What DARVO stands for
DARVO is an acronym for three moves that often happen in quick succession when someone is held accountable:
- Deny. “That didn’t happen,” or “It wasn’t like that.”
- Attack. The focus shifts to the credibility, motives or character of the person speaking up: “You’re unstable,” “You just want attention.”
- Reverse Victim and Offender. The person who was confronted now presents as the one being wronged: “I can’t believe you would accuse me. You’re the one hurting me.”
The result is a strange reversal. The person who came to name a harm leaves feeling like the one who caused it.
Who coined DARVO?
Psychologist Jennifer Freyd introduced the term in 1997, near the end of a paper on betrayal trauma theory published in Feminism & Psychology. She observed the pattern in how some perpetrators, particularly of sexual offenses, respond when confronted. Freyd also describes “institutional DARVO,” when an organization treats the person reporting harm as the problem.
So is DARVO clinical, research-based or popular? It is a research-based concept from psychology that has since become popular online. It is not a diagnosis and does not describe a personality type. It describes a response.
What the research shows
A small but growing body of studies has tested the idea. In 2017, Sarah Harsey, Eileen Zurbriggen and Freyd found that people who confronted someone about wrongdoing often met DARVO, and that more DARVO was linked with more self-blame in the person who spoke up. In later experiments, Harsey and Freyd found that reading a DARVO response led participants to see a victim as less believable. In one 2023 study of 230 undergraduates, participants exposed to DARVO rated the perpetrator as less abusive and the victim as less believable than those who were not.
There is a hopeful thread: in one experiment, participants who first learned about DARVO were less swayed by it. The researchers note more work is needed. Freyd’s own page adds a caution worth repeating: DARVO is not proof of anything that happened before. Innocent people can react defensively, too.
An illustrative exchange
Imagine a partner who says, “When you grabbed my phone last night, it scared me.” The reply comes fast: “I never grabbed anything.” (Deny.) “You’ve been paranoid for months; your friends are poisoning you against me.” (Attack.) “Honestly, I’m the one who should be scared, with the way you treat me.” (Reverse.) Within a minute, the original concern has vanished, and the first partner is reassuring the second.
DARVO or ordinary defensiveness?
Almost everyone gets defensive when criticized. Ordinary defensiveness sounds like excuses or a counter-complaint, and it usually softens once the person calms down and can take some responsibility. DARVO is different in direction: it keeps escalating until the roles are reversed, and it tends to repeat whenever accountability comes up. It often sits alongside gaslighting and other parts of coercive control.
Misconceptions
- “Anyone who denies an accusation is using DARVO.” Not so. Denial alone can be honest. The pattern is the full sequence, especially the reversal.
- “Naming DARVO will make it stop.” It may help you stay clear, but it rarely changes the other person’s response in the moment.
What may help
Write down what happened before the conversation and return to your notes afterward, so the reversal does not overwrite your memory. Share your account with someone you trust. Keep requests short and specific rather than defending yourself point by point.
Safety, and when to reach out
When DARVO comes with intimidation, monitoring or fear of how your partner will react, couples therapy is generally not recommended; confronting harm in a joint session can make things more dangerous afterward. A domestic violence advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org) can help you think through a safety plan, confidentially and at any hour. If you are in crisis, call or text 988. Working one on one in individual therapy can also help you trust your own account of events again.
Common questions
What does DARVO stand for?
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes a sequence some people use when confronted about harmful behavior: they deny it happened, attack the credibility of the person raising it, and then present themselves as the true victim. Psychologist Jennifer Freyd introduced the term in 1997.
Who came up with DARVO?
Jennifer Freyd, a psychologist known for betrayal trauma theory, introduced DARVO in a 1997 article in Feminism & Psychology. Her later research with Sarah Harsey and colleagues tested how DARVO affects the people who confront wrongdoing and the observers who hear about it, including findings that it can reduce how believable victims seem.
Is DARVO the same as gaslighting?
They overlap but are not identical. Gaslighting is a pattern of making someone doubt their memory or perceptions over time. DARVO is a specific response to being confronted, ending in a reversal of victim and offender roles. Someone might use both, and both can be part of a wider pattern of control.
How do you respond to DARVO?
Many people find it helps to stay brief, avoid arguing every point and return to the original concern: "I'm talking about what happened last night." Keeping notes and talking with someone you trust can protect your memory. If you feel unsafe, an advocate at 1-800-799-7233 can help with a safety plan before you raise anything.
Sources
- Jennifer J. Freyd: What Is DARVO?
- Harsey SJ, Freyd JJ. The influence of Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender and insincere apologies on perceptions of sexual assault. J Interpers Violence. 2023;38(17-18):9985-10008 (PubMed)
- What Is Emotional Abuse? (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
- Create a Safety Plan (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline